Reflection on the dread
when love is rare and young, it's all real, but time always reveals the bitter taste of losing everything that I hold dear.
Kierkegaard knew the horror of everthing disappearing before a sick brooding over the tale of one's own miserable self. He sought for the way between this devouring of oneself in observation as though one were the only man who had ever been , and the sorry comfort of a universal human shipwreck. He knew the unhappy relativity in everything, the unending question about what I am .... a wound that will not heal.
16.10.03
If I lose my sense of humor I best find it fast, otherwise I surely will find myself in the confounds of a place that they don't let me talk about , that they don't acknowledge as part of who I am, the one, the girl w/ the issue, the anger, the problem. Jesus Christ you think I suffered from some kind of debilitating dis-ease,
ok so I don't dig self help books or those chinsey little pocket cards made out of some plastic resin that help me be a better person....Big deal what does that get you?, except a thought, a recollection at the most inappropriate time.
9.10.03
::so you want to know how to side step do ya?::
no problem. let me just move this pile of shit that i have beneath my feet. i am sorry that your not able to connect the dots right now, but if you look closely you will notice that some of them are missing. in which case feel free to make up the steps as you go a long. we will simply erase all the pieces of you that are not attractive.
i love a good joke, you know the ones that leave you giglilng for say about an hour after their punchline, I mean how fucking simple are we as a society that daily dilberts
8.10.03
:: how long can you keep this up? ::
this masquerading is getting to be too much for me to deal with. i don't know what i want anymore than a three year old child knows what they want to do with the rest of their life. here i am again going into negativity mode, open the doorway for the mundane and routine workload, you can go ahead and place it in the center of the room as this will be it's debut performance.